I would say that my NS experience had progressed in phases, allowing me to mould my character through the smorgasbord of opportunities it had provided for me; much akin to the metamorphosis of a caterpillar to a butterfly eager to fly high.
It was a sight to behold. There I stood, queuing up for the space in the bus that I would be so acquainted with for the next nine weeks. My heart felt a gush of a mixed flurry of emotions; touched that my friends had bothered to send me off in the wee-hours of the morning, disheartened after looking at some of the similar downcast faces of my soon-to-be comrades, and a fleeting sense of exhilaration yet worry knowing that I was stepping into an unknown world that awaited me.
Prior to enlistment, relatives and close friends alike had been trying to advise me to take this new chapter of my life with utmost positiveness. 10th of January, 2008 read my watch. Unlike most of my peers whom, I assume, would have had a sumptuous "last supper" with their loved ones and close friends the evening before, mine was spent in NUH. Leaving behind a brother who was just about to brave through a surgery for pneumothorax, my initial enthusiasm to excel in the army had been naturally affected. But when the nation calls, we have to respond.
The BMT phase was admittedly a culture shock for me. There I was, in the bunk of Pegasus Coy, Platoon 4, Section 2, desperate to break the ice between the others which were quite a diverse bunch of people. However, before I knew it, I managed to establish a strong rapport with my peers, and sense of camaraderie quickly emerged as we enjoyed going through thick and thin as one platoon, one entity. After what seemed like a month of Sundays, confinement week was over. Unforgettable experiences at live firing, field camp and SITEST soon ensued. Through encouragement from my peers, family, friends and through prayer, I managed to tide through the short stay in Tekong as a recruit. Another defining moment was when my whole family managed to attend my Graduation Parade and put on my soaking-wet jockey cap, to complete my set of drenched Smart No. 4, marking my competence as a trained fighting-fit soldier.
I like to think of my 9-month bumpy journey in OCS as a cocoon - something that at times felt like eternity, but nonetheless a necessarily long one. After the short-lived block leave that we were given, my initial days at OCS, Sierra Wing ruffled my feathers; as if being thrown at the deep end of the pool, again. The pace of training was also much faster, leaving little room for error, lesser tolerance for making mistakes. However, through cadet appointments given, it provided plenty of opportunities for me to practise giving clear and concise instructions, and to get used to being responsible for the well -being of others.
Being posted to Delta Wing for my professional term and being trained as an Infantry Platoon Commander was the most daunting and trying time of my NS life. This part of the journey had not been a smooth-sailing one. There were times where I felt unsettled, nearly depressed, with the rigours and intensity of the physically demanding really taking its toll on my weary and now burnt-out body. Giving up was really tempting occasionally, as I fought an internal battle to press on toward the goal of commissioning and thereby becoming a leader in the SAF. My ego and pride took a beating as the instructors there set high standards and expectations of us. In the process, I was really humbled and we were taught through the tough and hard way. Turn out after turn out, "Charlie Mike" after "Charlie Mike", the Officer's Creed started to become more than a mundane chant that we kept repeating during a water parade.
Going out to the field for mission simulations and exercises reminded me of the famous tagline of the movie,
Black Hawk Down; to "
Leave No Man Behind". As well as when SFC (Sergeant First-Class) Hoot said "People ask me why I like this job... Its about the person next to you..." Those really set me thinking of the importance of caring for my fellow comrades, fighting as one platoon because their lives are as much in my hands as mine in theirs.
Reflecting on my Brunei experience, especially during the Jungle Confidence Course, it really showed me the importance of teamwork and peer motivation, and also to find that inner fighting spirit to push forward as well as to do our loved ones proud. Never had I been pushed to my break-point so much prior to that unforgettable experience. I sorely missed my family and friends so much I felt that I had taken them for granted too much in the past. I started to appreciate the finer things in life. Trekking up and down, paying the price for mistakes even though it might not have been mine per se, it was a real test of proving my mettle and worth.
Life, as English philosopher Thomas Hobbes once put it, "is nasty, brutish and short". Its only when you embrace the reality that life has its ravines and knolls, that you'll learn to face adversity in a more positive way. I came out of this experience a stronger individual - both mentally and physically.
Entering the gate of TFT, as fresh young second-lieutenant, I felt a strong sense of nostalgia. Flashbacks of time I had spent just under a year ago came like a gust of wind. This time, I was stepping in as a commander, and more responsibility would be bestowed upon me. I got what I wanted - to go back to the place where my roots and foundation had been cemented. Inspired by one of the platoon commanders in my days as a recruit, I came back with goal of emulating him - to be a leader that would inspire and be positive role-model to motivate them to excel in the army and provide a platform for a memorable and meaningful NS experience. I learnt to be firm and strict when the situation called for it. In terms of relationships, I learnt to work effectively with my subordinates and my superiors. Getting to work with my best friend as a colleague was a bonus. I clearly enjoyed my job as a Platoon Commander thoroughly. Although I initially tried turning down the challenge of being a Coy 2IC, griping about its jobscope and preferring to be a PC, I soon came to terms with it. Without regret, I am thankful that I have had the opportunity to try out something I wouldn't otherwise been given the chance to. I have definitely had positive takeaways from this experience.
All in all, I chose to think my past two years not as an "NS liability", but more of an opportunity to develop and shape my character to become the more resilient and independent person that I am now. As the butterfly now flutters and approaches the end, I would say that this long and arduous journey has been one worthwhile spent. I walk out of the journey a better individual, ready for the challenges ahead in the future. To quote the old adage, "army transforms us from boys to MEN".
Pardon the errors. The helmet has destroyed some braincells.
